when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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