Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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