we made out on top of his cat.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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