yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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