U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
