Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
