Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
