So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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