Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
