After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
