ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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