I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
