oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Randomize
