I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
