Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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