don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
