Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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