I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
