I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
