Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
