And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize