Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize