jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
