guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
