I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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