I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
