I think I am morally bankrupt
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
