And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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