No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
