If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
