The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
