I'm gonna have a badass scar
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I can't put those talents on a resume
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
