The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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