Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
