I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
