She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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