Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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