Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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