we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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