"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
