It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize
