What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
