I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I need to stop coming to work sober
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
