when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Its about making memories worth repressing
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize