i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
