so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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