This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
