Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
