Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
