I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
