As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
