cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
