I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
