Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
