I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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