ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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