I need help removing her.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
