I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize