this beer tastes like vomit already
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
