Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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