It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
