Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
