it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize