If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
