The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize