Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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