I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
