is your mom at the bar?
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Randomize
