If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
