I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
