do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
