I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
