This girl is more easily done than said...
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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