marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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