Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize