smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
