Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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