Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
