Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
We need to rekindle our bromance
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
